Beginning My Path To Wellness With PCOS
It wasn’t until a few years ago, I was standing in my bathroom on a scale that read 226 lbs, it was a big slap in the face for me. Prior to having children I was very into fitness, dabbled in powerlifting and bodybuilding. I remember even telling myself that I would never “let” myself get to 200 lbs. Well, doesn’t life have a way of always reminding us we control nothing? That’s probably how I even ended up in the position I am in, thinking I needed to control everything to survive, putting myself into a constant state of survival mode. A defense mechanism I developed along the way of being alive, perhaps? In all honesty I am not sure when or why it happened, I’m just focused on building new patterns to regulate my nervous system to get out of that survival state and change my mindset. Looking down at that scale and seeing that huge number was only a small piece of the puzzle, but it had triggered me and pushed me to get myself back on the track I wanted to follow. At the time I had assumed that I could lose weight the same way I had before I had babies. When I began trying those methods, I became very frustrated and discouraged that they were not working anymore.
Getting to The Root Issues
Thankfully, I had discovered early on in my journey that there were underlying health issues that had begun to sprout. At my annual lady visit, I was kindly informed that I have Insulin resistance and PCOS. Naturally, I should have been really upset with the diagnosis, but I had already spent so much time being upset, all I was focused on at that moment was taking action and finding the solution. I read somewhere that the extra testosterone in women with PCOS helps them gain muscle more efficiently for weight loss. I don’t know if it’s true, but I took it as encouragement to lift weights again.
I tried a few things like increasing my protein, upping my water game, counting my calories more strictly, making sure I was getting all the nutrients I needed, not snacking between meals to keep my blood sugar more balanced throughout the day. That helped to a degree, so I made a more significant diet change. I found The Starch Solution created by Dr. McDougall. Those who don’t know what that is, in simpler terms it is a plant-based diet where the focus is filling half of your plate with starchy vegetables and half with non-starchy vegetables or fruit. Which worked very well, for me. It truly was changing my life and I had begun losing about 8 lbs a month just doing that and some walking. After a few months of doing that, I lost 30lbs out of 80, I was excited.
Unfortunately, towards the end of my journey with the “Starch Solution” I was getting really bad rashes and hives. To clarify, the diet itself was not the problem, I loved the diet, and I will always be happy that I found it and it really kick started my weight loss. The problem was, I discovered on my own that I had a severe allergy to Nickel, which is found in close to everything in our food supply. I went to an allergist that confirmed it was definitely a nickel allergy. Also, discovered I was allergic to Cobalt, Cats, Dust, Dyes, and Decyl Glucoside (Which is in almost all soaps and shampoos *eye roll*). There were a few other minor irritants, but those were the main things.
The PCOS diagnosis didn’t upset me too much, but the nickel allergy discovery sent me into a bit of depression. I was so frustrated, because of lactose intolerance and PCOS I couldn’t eat dairy or gluten, because of Insulin resistance I couldn’t eat sweets, and because of my nickel allergy I felt like I couldn’t eat anything… I had to figure something out. I refused to live my life in constant suffering. After a few months of sulking, I had gained 10lbs back and I would NOT let myself lose all of my progress. Determined to make the best of my situation I continued my personal research, that’s when I found it, fasting.
Carving My Own Path to Wellness With PCOS
This was not my first time trying fasting, I had done it years ago in college when I was in my body building era. I completely forgot it existed, and I was truly relieved that I was led back to it again. It wasn’t all rainbows and sunshine when I came across fasting again, although I did lose that 10lbs that I had regained. After that everything halted, yes, ANOTHER obstacle. So, discouraging, I could’ve screamed.
I realized something about that halt; it wasn’t really a physical plateau. It was a mental block I was facing, I realized that over the years of trauma and being broken by others I always went to food for comfort, which is probably what led to insulin resistance in the first place. I had struggled with this weight for a few years now and I finally had to face that a part of me was holding onto the weight, because it felt like a protection from the outside world. I had to give myself a reality check, which is this excess weight is not keeping me safe. It is hurting me; all the problems I am trying to heal cannot be properly dealt with until I get myself in a healthy weight range. This leads me to where I am now 5’3 at 189 lbs, finally in the 180s again. I am grateful for that, but it is still not where I am trying to stay. Recently, I discovered another obstacle of possible autoimmunity, but I will not give up.
If there is one thing that all these obstacles and failures have taught me, it’s that I am strong and capable of pushing forward.
There are some women who have PCOS and fasting does not work for them, and there are some who it does work for. I am grateful that it is something that works for me, but it is always so important to talk to your doctor and listen to your body and what it needs. On days my body feels weaker, I nourish my body and give it the energy and rest it needs. On the fasting days I feel strong and energized. I know that for me it is a good fasting day.
My Path to Wellness
I have learned to begin listening to my body and have taken healing my mind a lot more seriously. I have been in therapy for a few years, but I have increased the amount of personal work I do outside of that. I struggle with Anxiety and ADHD, so it has been challenging to create routines for myself that I stick to. But I have tools that have greatly improved that side of things and have gotten the ball rolling and restored my excitement for the journey, I will share these tools with you as I continue to blog.
I am eating a balance of different foods now, very focused on listening to my body and giving it what it needs. I’m still staying away from dairy and gluten. I still struggle with sweets, mainly popsicles in this summer heat. Although, I am hoping to try making my own popsicles as a healthier alternative.
I have created an exercise routine that allows me to feel strong and energized even after I do my routine. It makes me feel so powerful when I exercise, which really boosts my confidence and makes me feel good about myself. I strength train 3 times a week and have light movement on the other days. For my PCOS wellness journey, walking has become my best friend.
I am still fasting, but I am doing alternate day fasting which is eating one day and then fasting all day the next and then repeating that pattern. It was hard at first, getting into it and I did fall off the wagon for a bit. I have since gotten back on, and it does take getting used to, but it does start to feel easier the more you do it and really helps me with forming discipline with everything else I do. I always say, ” How you do one thing, is how you do everything”.
There are times when my body is telling me that I need to eat something that day instead of fasting, at those times I do listen. Yes, weight loss is a goal, but the main goal is health and well-being, so if our body lets us know we need nourishment that day especially when it has multiple issues, listening becomes the first priority.
Comparison and insecurity with PCOS
Having Insecurities is natural for everyone, even the supermodels of the world have things they are insecure about. It’s okay to feel down in the dumps about how you look or wishing something on your body was a certain way. Everyone has done it at least at some point in their life. I have my own insecurities and PCOS can bring upon us more conditions that make us as women feel insecure.
Comparing yourself to someone else or even comparing yourself to who you used to be or expected to be will steal the joy you could be having in your journey right now. I have days when I feel sad about the chin hair PCOS has brought me, and the thinning hair, but I remind myself that these things are just my body trying to communicate that there is a problem, which doesn’t mean it will be here forever.
I know it feels like weight loss or change will never come, and I know you want it to happen faster than it is. Girl, I’m right there WITH you! You are welcome here, come on this journey with me, because it truly can be so isolating.
As I’ve continued this journey, I have been able to re-frame how I look at any conditions I have. Instead of looking at them as permanent problems and as who I am, I look at them as side effects to core issues that are happening in my body. I’ve always believed that my body is intelligent and is always telling me something and these diagnoses are parts of a map that will lead me into finding how to heal my body and mind.
Encouragement for Healing and Wellness Journey
Always do what works best for you and always talk to your doctor before trying new things. Everything I have done and shared with you in this blog is something I spoke to my doctor about. Even if you share some of the exact same medical issues as I do, what I do for me is not promised or guaranteed to have the same result for you. What works for me, may not work for you and that’s okay, just know that there is something out there for you to improve your lifestyle, it’s just waiting for you to continue searching for it. Don’t give up on yourself, Butterfly.
If you have hit roadblocks in your journey and that’s what led you here, just know you are not alone. There are others out there trying to heal and mend. Trying to heal their minds and hearts, this journey leads us to who we are meant to be. We are strong and we are capable of changing and improving our lives. We can improve our mental environment by changing how we handle problems that are thrown in our way to stop us.
I started this blog so that I could share my journey with my mental and physical health in hopes of finding others who are trying to do the same. Because it can be isolating and lonely at times, I’ve almost given up completely on several occasions. So now that we’ve found each other, I hope you will continue to grow with me. Click here to join my email list where I will send you a FREE tool that I use to calm and de-clutter my mind.
Till next time fellow Butterfly,
Mo
The Green Kaleidoscope
Disclaimer:
I’m not a medical professional—just a mom sharing her personal journey with ADHD and PCOS. Everything in this post is based on my own experiences, thoughts, and opinions. It’s not meant to be taken as medical advice or a substitute for professional care. Always consult with a qualified healthcare provider before making changes to your health, diet, or treatment plan.