When Everything Feels Like Too Much (You’re Not Alone, Mama)
It was 3 PM on a Tuesday when I found myself standing in my kitchen, staring at a sink full of dishes while my kids argued over who got the toy car. My brain felt like TV static, and I couldn’t remember if I’d eaten lunch or just thought about eating lunch. The laundry was calling my name from three different rooms, and I had that familiar pit in my stomach that screamed “YOU’RE FAILING AT EVERYTHING.”
If this sounds familiar, you’re not alone. As an mom, ADHD overwhelm hits hard and fast, and it feels like we’re carrying an invisible load that no one else can see. We’re juggling everyone’s needs, managing sensory overload, and trying to keep our heads above water in a world that feels designed for neurotypical brains.
I’m not a professional—just a fellow mom trying to survive and find peace where I can. But through trial and error (lots of error!), I’ve discovered some gentle routines that help me reset when life gets too loud. These aren’t magic solutions, but they’re lifelines that have saved my sanity more times than I can count.
What ADHD Overwhelm Feels Like (and Why It’s Different for Moms)
ADHD overwhelm mom life hits different, doesn’t it? It’s not just feeling busy—it’s sensory overload where every sound feels amplified, every texture irritating, and every decision impossible. It’s task paralysis where we stand frozen in our messy kitchen, knowing we need to do something but unable to figure out what to tackle first.
Then there’s the emotional flooding—that moment when our child asks for the 47th snack of the day, and we want to cry because it feels like the cherry that topped the overstimulated sensory overloaded sundae. Our nervous systems are already maxed out from processing everything around us plus whatever trauma we still carry, and motherhood adds layers of constant interruptions disrupting our already scattered focus, decision fatigue from making 1,000 choices before noon, guilt cycles about not being “enough” for our families, and overstimulation from noise, mess, and everyone needing us at once.
We’re juggling everyone’s needs while forgetting our own, running on empty while trying to pour into tiny humans who need us desperately. Sometimes, we cope by binging social media when the overwhelm hits—scrolling becomes our escape from the chaos. But that actually makes us even more overstimulated and disconnected from what we really need. (If you struggle with screen time like I do, I wrote a whole blog post about screen detox that might help! Find it HERE)
Here are 5 routines that help me reset when it all gets too loud—simple, ADHD-friendly practices that meet us where we are.
Routine #1: The Brain Dump Reset (Even if I Only Have 5 Minutes)
What it is:
Quickly unloading all the thoughts swirling in your head onto paper or into a voice note on your phone. No organization required—just get it out of your brain and onto something external.
Why it helps:
Our ADHD brains are like browsers with 47 tabs open. The brain dump helps close some of those tabs and declutter the mental chaos aka ADHD Overwhelm. When everything is bouncing around in our heads, we can’t think clearly or prioritize what actually needs attention.
Real example:
I do this while the kids are still sleeping or eating breakfast or during those precious bathroom breaks (you know, when someone inevitably starts banging on the door). I just write stream-of-consciousness style: ‘dentist appointment, grocery list, call Mom, kids need new shoes, laundry, that weird noise the car is making.’ It takes 3-5 minutes, and suddenly my brain feels less cluttered.
ADHD-friendly tips: • Use whatever works: notebook, phone notes, voice memos, or talking to yourself • Set a timer for 5 minutes max—this isn’t about perfection • Don’t organize or edit—just get it out of your head
When overwhelm hits and your brain feels scattered, having simple tools to reset becomes essential. If you’re looking for more tiny habits like this that actually work for ADHD moms, my guide “Calm the Chaos: How I Manage ADHD, Anxiety & Motherhood One Tiny Habit at a Time” is packed with practical strategies that meet you exactly where you are.
Routine #2: The 3-Task Day Rule
What it is:
Choosing only 3 core things for your day—everything else is a bonus. Not 3 things per hour or 3 categories with 10 sub-tasks each. Just 3 actual things.
Why it helps:
This helps avoid burnout and perfectionism while working with our ADHD brains instead of against them. When we try to do 47 things, we end up overwhelmed and accomplish nothing. When we focus on 3 things, we actually get stuff done AND feel successful.
How to make it work: • Write them on a dry-erase board where you can see them (out of sight = out of mind!) • Use sticky notes on your bathroom mirror or coffee maker • Pick one easy, one medium, one challenging task to balance your energy
You can find more about my planning routine in this post, My Simple Weekly Planning Routine for an ADHD Brain
Real example:
“Yesterday my 3 things were: 1) Grocery pickup, 2) One load of laundry start to finish, 3) Read bedtime stories without rushing. That’s it. I ended up also emptying the dishwasher and meal prepping snacks, but those were bonuses that felt good instead of obligations that stressed me out.”
Routine #3: Visual Zones in My Home
What it is:
Breaking your living space into clear zones that serve specific purposes, with daily essentials kept in plain sight because our ADHD brains work on “out of sight, out of mind.”
The zones that work for our family: • Kid Zone: Toys and art supplies contained in one area with labeled homes • Quiet Zone: A corner with soft lighting, books, and noise-canceling headphones • Task Zone: Kitchen command center with keys, calendar, and daily essentials visible
Why this helps managing ADHD with kids:
When everything has a visual home, decision-making becomes easier. Instead of hunting for keys while kids are melting down, they’re always on the hook by the door. Instead of forgetting to take vitamins, they’re right next to the coffee maker.
Keep it ADHD-friendly: • Use clear containers so you can see what’s inside • Label everything—even if you live alone, future you will thank you • Don’t aim for Pinterest-perfect; aim for functional
Routine #4: The No-Fail Dinner Shortcut Plan
Why dinner becomes extra hard:
Our ADHD brains typically crash around 4–6 PM. Executive function is depleted, kids are cranky, and suddenly we need to create a meal from thin air. It’s the perfect storm for overwhelm.
My go-to system:
Theme nights remove decision fatigue: • Monday: Crockpot meals • Tuesday: Breakfast for dinner • Wednesday: Pasta night • Thursday: Leftovers or freezer meals • Friday: Pizza (homemade or delivery!)
Emergency backup meals: • Frozen meatballs + jarred sauce + pasta • Rotisserie chicken + bagged salad + dinner rolls • Quesadillas with whatever non- dairy cheese/protein we have • Breakfast foods (pancakes, eggs—kids love breakfast for dinner!)
ADHD-friendly shortcuts: • Paper plates on hard days (no shame in this game!) • Pre-cut vegetables from the store • One-pot or sheet pan meals for easier cleanup
Gentle reminder:
Feeding your family is not a performance. It’s an act of love, whether it’s a home-cooked meal or Burger King drive-through on a particularly rough day. Your kids need a calm, present mom more than they need perfect meals.
Speaking of managing the daily overwhelm, if you’re feeling like you need more systems that actually work with your ADHD brain, “Calm the Chaos: How I Manage ADHD, Anxiety & Motherhood One Tiny Habit at a Time” breaks down exactly how I’ve learned to work with my brain instead of against it—especially during those challenging dinner hours when everything feels impossible.
Routine #5: My Evening Reset (Even If the Day Was a Mess)
What it looks like:
This isn’t about having a perfect evening routine—it’s about creating 10-15 minutes of calm before tomorrow starts, even if today felt like a disaster.
The simple steps:
No screens for 10 minutes: Put phones in another room and resist the urge to scroll. This helps our overstimulated brains start to settle.
Light tidy-up (not deep cleaning!): • Clear the kitchen counter • Start dishwasher if it’s full • Pick up toys in main living area • Set out tomorrow’s clothes
“Tomorrow starts now” moment: • Pack lunches • Set up coffee maker • Put backpacks by the door • Lay out breakfast items
Calming habits that help: • Read a Bible verse or devotional • Make herbal tea • Write three things you’re grateful for • Take deep breaths outside
Important reminder:
This routine isn’t about perfection—it’s about gentle rhythms that support us when we have the energy for them. On days when you can’t do the reset, show yourself the same grace you’d give your best friend.
These evening moments of calm can be game-changers for ADHD moms, but I know how hard it can be to implement new habits when you’re already overwhelmed. In “Calm the Chaos: How I Manage ADHD, Anxiety & Motherhood One Tiny Habit at a Time,” I share the exact step-by-step process I use to build sustainable routines that actually stick—even when life gets messy.
What I Want You to Know If You’re in the Middle of the Mess
Sweet butterfly, if you’re reading this while hiding in your bathroom for five minutes of peace, or while your kids watch TV for the third hour today, I want you to know something important: You are not lazy, broken, or failing.
Your ADHD brain works differently, and that’s not a flaw—it’s just different wiring that needs different strategies. These routines aren’t magic solutions that will transform your life overnight. Also, I don’t even follow these systems perfectly, I have bad days, but the systems make it easier to fall back into these routines that are set. They’re gentle rhythms that help us work with our brains instead of against them.
You don’t need to implement all five routines tomorrow. In fact, please don’t try to! Pick ONE thing that resonated with you and try it this week. Maybe it’s the brain dump during breakfast, or choosing just 3 tasks for tomorrow, or setting up one simple zone in your home.
The goal isn’t perfection—it’s progress. It’s finding tiny pockets of calm in the beautiful chaos of motherhood. It’s learning to be gentle with ourselves on the hard days and celebrating the small wins on the good ones.
I’d love to hear from you: What’s your go-to reset routine when overwhelm hits? Drop a comment below and share what helps you find your calm—your experience might be exactly what another mama needs to hear today.
Remember, you’re doing better than you think, even on the days when it doesn’t feel like it. 💕
Til next time Butterflies,
Riah Brea